1
Hi, welcome to hell
See the pits of sadism
and the lava lakes
2
smoldering fires
endless torment of the damned
A nice cup of tea
3
In this dungeon dwells
Lucifer's favorite prey
Telemarketers
4
They never hang up
So steel spikes shoot from the phone
The wire strangles them
5
Grotesque and mangled
The corpses reanimate
To be killed anew
6
God's sense of humor
Nothing without irony
Hell is sarcastic
7
Cleansing satire
redemptive comedy with
a happy ending
8
The horror you see
Is just our way of showing
How we truly care
9
This concludes our tour.
Please patronize the gift shop.
Thank you for coming.
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